I mean, at what point do the army dudes show up in motorcades of black Suburbans to say, “Jennifer Connely, you are the only scientist who can save the earth from Keanu Reeves. Put on your tightest sweater. You are coming with us.” Isn’t that the way this script works? Where is Tommy Lee Jones? Why has no one put together a team of rugged rig workers, ninjas, demolition experts, that Black guy, and Steve Buscemi? You’re implying that a group composed entirely of females will breed? I’m just saying that life … finds a way.

Who Is IOZ?: Annals of Job-Derived Modifiers