“I’m a huge Martin Amis fan,” said Simon Rich, a novelist and writer for Saturday Night Live who recently purchased a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights, “but I’m a little bit concerned for him. If he wants to be taken seriously as a Brooklyn artist, he’ll need a mustache, and last time I checked he was clean-shaven. It doesn’t matter how good Money was. He needs to grow at least a Fu Manchu or he’ll be laughed off the L train.”

Informed that Mr. Amis would be living by the F train, Mr. Rich said, “The F’s not as strict but he’ll probably still need some basic muttonchops.”

—Martin Amis moves to Brooklyn (via authenticityhoax)