“If you want your fame to be durable, you can’t hate the rich. They own newspapers and finance independent movies. Realize early in your career that there are corrupt poor people out there too. And if you are lucky enough to become affluent, never flaunt it. I love rap music but have problems with some of the self-proclaimed onetime-poor gangster poets today boasting to the still-poor fans that they are now rich. Upgrade your thug self. Rap about a better level of wealth: ‘No more bling and guns, bitch / I gotta new kind of rich / I’m tired of your hating / I bought you a Cy Twombly painting.’”
“Gay marriage takes us to a new level of confusion in the fame game. There used to be a word in the press for elderly women who hadn’t married: “spinster.” There was a private word for older gentlemen, too: “queer.” But these terms are now meaningless. What will be the politically correct word for men, like myself, in the public eye who now can marry but choose not to? Will we be discriminated against within our own minority? Just because we are allowed to tie the knot doesn’t mean we have to. I want to warn all these gay couples rushing to the altar. There’s also gay divorce! Gay alimony! Some states, like California, have 50/50-split no-fault divorce laws! It must be a gold-digging hustler free-for-all in West Hollywood right now. Remaining single is the path to fame longevity, no matter what your sexual preference is. Just ask Bill Maher. He’ll tell you.”
Fame Maintenance
by John Waters